


Mutual, I'm Sure

by periwinklepromise



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bad BDSM Etiquette (discussed), Established Relationship, F/M, Kink Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24742174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwinklepromise/pseuds/periwinklepromise
Summary: What did she like in bed? There had to be something. Not the beginning, with the pain and the anger and the insults. She liked …“I like the end.”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 23
Collections: Natasha Bingo





	Mutual, I'm Sure

**Author's Note:**

> For Natasha Romanova Bingo square Aftercare. I firmly believe that a "normal upbringing" Natasha would have some very strange ideas about sex and relationships.

“And I don't like being tied up, really. Makes me feel trapped,” she concluded, her fingers brushing over the sewn pattern on the duvet. She thought that was everything. Bucky had insisted on having the whole discussion, about hard limits and triggers and safewords, and it made Natasha feel embarrassed and stupid, like the first time she had tried to masturbate and couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about. And he'd kept asking questions, wanting to know _exactly_ what she didn't like about spanking or blindfolds or bondage. Since when was sex so complicated, so regimented? Why couldn't they just fuck and be done with it?

Bucky didn't say anything right away, but she didn't look up at him. Let him dump her, she decided. She didn't need to watch.

“And uh,” he rasped. He cleared his throat and tried again. “What about what you like?”

That didn't sound like he was dumping her. Natasha looked up at him, but his face didn't betray any sign of wanting to dump her, either. “Like about what?”

Bucky waved his notebook at her. He'd written up a list of all the most common kinks, and some of the more hardcore ones too, with columns for both of them. If that helped him organize all of his thoughts, then she was fine with it. “You've told me what you _don't_ like. You don't like classic B&D or S&M. And that's great! That's really good to know. But I also would like to know what you _like_. So that I can give you … what you like.”

“Um.” What did she like? That was actually kinky? She had a decent amount of experience with this sort of stuff, with her last boyfriend Ivan, but it had gotten to be too much trying to please him, and he'd gotten angry that she never could, and it had just imploded.

“It's okay, Nat.” He reached over and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You can be totally honest. I won't freak out, I don't really have any hard limits. Whatever you want, I'm up for trying it out.”

“Um.” She cast her mind around. There had to be _something_. What did she like? Not the beginning, with the pain and the anger and the insults. She liked … “I like the end.”

He looked cute, his face all scrunched up. “What do you mean?”

She didn't have any fancy in-community words for it, so she had to describe it instead. “You know. Like. When the handcuffs come off, and you kiss me and call me perfect and tell me how good I did. I like that part. Ivan and I never...” she let the rest go unsaid. Ivan had never done that, the gentle kisses and the warm cuddles and once, the white grape juice. But she hadn't liked it when Bucky left the room to go get it. She hadn't told him that though. He'd come back fast enough that it hadn't really mattered.

He cleared his throat. Bucky didn't always like hearing about Ivan, but he told her he would try to be calmer about it while they talked all this stuff out. “So, you like the aftercare.” Bucky nodded and made another note.

Aftercare? “Is that what it's called?”

He gave her an odd look. It seemed very … pointed. And heavy. But she wasn't sure what it meant. “I thought … you told me you'd done this sort of thing before.”

“I have!” Loads of times, and all sorts of ways. But that didn't mean she'd done everything under the sun. “I'm allowed to have _some_ stuff I haven't tried before,” she defended herself.

“Whoa, hey, I didn't mean it like that.” His hands were on her shoulders then, smoothing them back down, away from her ears where they were creeping. “But aftercare … isn't really a kink. I mean, it's a part of it. But it's a part of every scene. It's not …” He paused, searching for a word and deciding on, “Negotiable. It can look different for different people, of course, but it's important to be grounded after a scene. And I'm worried, because it sounds like no one ever taught you about that, and no one ever did that for you.”

“You do it for me,” she offered after a moment. It still felt embarrassing, finding out she should have known what that was called, but at least she had a word for it. _Aftercare_. She liked being taken care of.

He gave a smile, but he still seemed sad. “You deserve it all, you know. You deserve to feel good.”

She shrugged. Sex wasn't really about feeling good, to her. It was just something she did. But if she was guaranteed aftercare after a scene, she was definitely going to initiate play more. “You make me feel good.”

“And I want to make you feel even better.” He gave her a quick kiss. “So what parts of aftercare that we've tried do you like? And is there anything you fantasize about that I could try for you?”

She did not have the words for that either. So he flipped to a separate page in his notebook, with a different kind of list – compliments for who she was, praise for what she did, feathers, massages, silk, being spoiled. This list sounded better to her. No bondage, no beatings, no being talked down to.

Bucky kissed her again, soft and smooth, like they had all the time in the world. “Thank you for sharing this with me. I am sorry I did so much that you did not enjoy.”

“I am sorry I pretended to enjoy it,” she countered.

“Kinda worried how easily I was lied to, but I'll just have to keep a closer eye on you.” The words could have been harsh, but his smirk was full of promise, not bitterness.

“I love you,” she told him. “That is not a lie.”


End file.
